Greetings from the mother country! (The one that abandoned me and didn't want me back!!! Well, now I don't want YOU! I am moving to Italy, England. So there!!! You can jam my birth right!)
Or, I am just going back to Australia. Which is nowhere near Italy or England, and where I'd better be able to get good coffee or I will die! No, I think I really will - io sono soffro da crisi di astinenza!! My current withdrawal symptoms from 6 espressos/macchiatos per day, down to none (sorry England - you can jam your coffee also) include chest pains. Yep. I am officially an addict. And I need my fix of real Italian coffee NOW!!!
And I need to speak Italian, too. Cavoli! I keep having conversations with myself, and my friend's two year old son, so I won't forget passato prossimo. And sending emails to my sister in which I hope I've used pronomi correctly, cos otherwise google translate will make no sense - not that it would anyway. So now, my friend's 2 year old son probably thinks I'm insane, and in truth I probably am insane, because I'm having conversations with MYSELF in Italian!!! (And because I'm even attempting to use pronomi!)
It doesn't take long to adjust to new climates, unfortunately. Within five minutes of arriving in the UK, I was speaking with my English accent again - to the extent that I believe Immigration thought I was taking the piss - and I was clearly already using English idioms, like 'taking the piss'. I am just an international cameleon: when I am in Australia, I speak Aussie; when I'm in England, I am English. And when I am in Italy, I am ... still Australian, with massive delusions of grandeur!
That's unlucky. It's very unlucky; I think I am becoming less fluent as the hours go by (and yes, Italy, I am taking the piss!) For the first 12 hours after leaving, once I'd recovered enough strength to actually communicate in words of any language (Vodka has betrayed me), I was still full of enthusiastic Perche' and grazie and posso prendere per favores. Now I'm just asking for tea and cucumber sandwiches, with rounded Os and dropped Hs and not a Si in sight!
Oh my God!!!Non posso dimenticare!
So worried was I that I would forget to speak Italian after a day, I remembered that several weeks ago I bought an iTouch for the purpose of hearing Italian, and I decided to use it. So out of its box it came!! It's pretty and shiny and new, still! On my epic journey to Cornwall (needed a day trip!) I ran through the podcasts of Alcatraz, which I'd gone to the trouble of downloading and then never listened to because I couldn't understand Italian and it sounded stupid.
I can now understand it, and it IS stupid! But at least I understand it enough to know that. I have not forgotten. Thank God! Grazie mille il mio Dio!! lol. It was like shoving pebbles through a sieve getting Italian into this brain - I'm sure as hell not letting go of it that quickly!! What is even less amusing than Alcatraz podcasts is that I spent an obscene amount of euros on an electronic device that's been sitting in my bag for three weeks. Maybe four. And in the meantime, I broke my phone so I should have just held out for an iPhone, and left that sitting in a box for three weeks!
True story: on this trip, I have broken:
1 Brand new camera
1 brand new laptop
1 expensive phone
And soon, no doubt, one brand new iTouch. (which I already don't know how to use, anyway. It keeps switching to loudspeaker and I don't know why). I am dangerous electronic devices!
Anyway, I am now in Cornwall, trying to navigate my way around the English keyboard (I need that little e that has the accent - where are you? Is impossible to pretend to speak Italian without you!!) and chilling with my mates before I head back to London. (I can't believe it's been ten years since I've seen Laura!!!) I have to get back to the Northern Hemisphere more often! I just had a Cornish pasty, proving once again that food is the best thing I've done on this trip!!! I am also trying to remember how to spell in English. It would appear that while I was shoving Italian into my brain, the English language was falling out.
No, seriously. I keep forgetting how to talk. Now I'm a moron in two languages!!
Anyway, back to London I soon go, and then ... back to real life. After spending a million hours on a plane, of course. Maybe I will have my own tv, and I can watch a movie in Italian.
La Bella e' La Bestia!!!
Ciao Reggazzi!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
But wait, there's more ... more ennui!
Apologies, but you are getting two blog posts in two days - mostly because I need to vent my frustration and ennui (again!) and have no one to do it to until tonight when I meet up with my friends and we break loose on a bottle of tequila and a dance floor. Hopefully, I will lose my passport and my credit card, and end up roaming the streets of Firenze with the Roma gypsies - but not the scary one in the purple coat who gives me nightmares. She's terrifying.
Oh Mio Dio!I am SO SAD RIGHT NOW!! And pissing myself laughing because I just wrote 'Oh Mio Dio'. Who do I think I am?
Ok. Basta. That's enough seriousness for one blog entry! I'm British; I'm supposed to be far more reserved, so I apologise :-) As I'm far more comfortable with sarcasm and self-deprecation, I'm going to go back to that now. *clears throat*
Here's why I think I'm actually sad about leaving Florence:
1. I was supposed to have fallen in love. It's Italy, for cavoli's sake. (Yeah, I know - bad alternative. And for those of you who don't know, that word means cabbage. I'm now saying cabbages instead of swearing. I'm going to get my head kicked in, aren't I?)
2. I was supposed to know how to make Tirimasu. I'll probably still try - and kill everyone. You'd all better eat it, or I'll kill you anyway!
3. I was supposed to buy one of the fancy-shmancy wedding dresses from the shop across the way from my albergo. (Not albero, as I professed to be living in just the other day.)
4. I was supposed to be fluent. (I called my hotel an albero two days ago. Clearly, if I think I'm living in trees ...)
5. I didn't really think I would be fluent. In my imagination I am. So there!
6. I was supposed to become best friends with Pronomi. But we are mortal enemies, like the Montagues and the Capulets. But Not Romeo and Juliet, because I hate pronomi - so yes, it's a bad metaphor, and I apologise.
7. I was supposed to be on my honeymoon in Cinqueterra right now. (Actually, I never hoped for that. But I needed a seventh dot point and I didn't make it to Cinqueterra or my honeymoon, so it was a nice fit.)
8. I was supposed to have bought those kick-arse boots with fur trim. But I forgot where I saw them.
9. I was supposed to be pregnant.
10. I so was NOT supposed to be pregnant. Lol. Jesus Christ, I only just got married!!!!! :-)
11. Dotpoints 9-11 were jokes. In case you take things literally. :-)
Can I just come home to Australia now? If I can't be in Florence, I don't want to be anywhere else. Sorry England.
Amen.
Oh Mio Dio!I am SO SAD RIGHT NOW!! And pissing myself laughing because I just wrote 'Oh Mio Dio'. Who do I think I am?
Ok. Basta. That's enough seriousness for one blog entry! I'm British; I'm supposed to be far more reserved, so I apologise :-) As I'm far more comfortable with sarcasm and self-deprecation, I'm going to go back to that now. *clears throat*
Here's why I think I'm actually sad about leaving Florence:
1. I was supposed to have fallen in love. It's Italy, for cavoli's sake. (Yeah, I know - bad alternative. And for those of you who don't know, that word means cabbage. I'm now saying cabbages instead of swearing. I'm going to get my head kicked in, aren't I?)
2. I was supposed to know how to make Tirimasu. I'll probably still try - and kill everyone. You'd all better eat it, or I'll kill you anyway!
3. I was supposed to buy one of the fancy-shmancy wedding dresses from the shop across the way from my albergo. (Not albero, as I professed to be living in just the other day.)
4. I was supposed to be fluent. (I called my hotel an albero two days ago. Clearly, if I think I'm living in trees ...)
5. I didn't really think I would be fluent. In my imagination I am. So there!
6. I was supposed to become best friends with Pronomi. But we are mortal enemies, like the Montagues and the Capulets. But Not Romeo and Juliet, because I hate pronomi - so yes, it's a bad metaphor, and I apologise.
7. I was supposed to be on my honeymoon in Cinqueterra right now. (Actually, I never hoped for that. But I needed a seventh dot point and I didn't make it to Cinqueterra or my honeymoon, so it was a nice fit.)
8. I was supposed to have bought those kick-arse boots with fur trim. But I forgot where I saw them.
9. I was supposed to be pregnant.
10. I so was NOT supposed to be pregnant. Lol. Jesus Christ, I only just got married!!!!! :-)
11. Dotpoints 9-11 were jokes. In case you take things literally. :-)
Can I just come home to Australia now? If I can't be in Florence, I don't want to be anywhere else. Sorry England.
Amen.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The hourglass is emptying ....
So, my life is like a Russian novel. Why? Because I am feeling much existential angst at the prospect of leaving one of Europe's most beautiful cities and I have nothing - no great art, no God, no great love - to inspire me. So oppressed by this newfound nihilism was I, I even popped into a church this afternoon, but only for about a minute and a half. (Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking, either! Let's put it down to churches being pretty in Firenze and leave it at that! We all know I don't teach RE any more for a reason!)
Thanks Nietzsche. Thanks a whole bunch. (I don't know why it's his fault. I think I just wanted to see if I could still spell Nietzsche after ten years. I don't even know if I did - after 6 weeks of learning Italian, I can barely spell anything and am pretty certain I'm going to look like a complete cretin in many of my classes this year!)
Mamma Mia!
Tomorrow is officially my last day in Firenze. How has this happened? How have the last 6 weeks sailed by so quickly, and yet Pronome are still about 6 weeks more away from being learnt? Some would say 6 years. I JUST DON'T GET THEM!!!!! It's like talking to YODA!!!
Nasty little phlegm wads! Flemma; voglio ucchiderti. (I'd fully piss myself if that was correct, after all this heartache.)
But, I am pleased to say that I am fluent. Yeah, I just laughed out loud, too, in an internet cafe full of people! I am fluent minus about 60 verb conjugations and a complete understanding of Fare. But otherwise, sure - why not?! I believe my teacher's exact words were: as long as you don't get too frustrated or too angry, and concentrate on keeping it simple, you can say whatever you want.
Bless. At least, I think that's what he said - cos he said it in Italian!!! I'm going to pretend, anyway. :-)
I've had the best six weeks ever living in my bubble in Firenze, and I've spent the last week madly trying to finish everything I had to finish: places to visit, food to eat, and dear new friends to spend last few days with. (I will miss you guys heaps! xo) The food part has been excellent: last gelati at Vivoli (chocolate mousse gelati - you are God in disguise. And I am eating you.... Oh well - that's what you wanted, right? The metaphor works!) Last chianti and sangiovese (by the bottle, obviously); last melanzane parmagiana, fagiole con tonno ... first and last EVER trippa.
Sweet Jesus, why is this even a food? WHY??
Last night, after offending someone with my admission that I would eat horse, and snails - basically, I'd eat my own head before I ate tripe - I decided to bite the bullet. I'm here, it's Fiorentino. And there was always the chance it would be the most amazing thing that ever was invented.
I failed maths in year 9, but I remember something about odds in Probability. Well, I reckon the odds were against me on this one - it's the lining of a bloody cow's stomach and it was pretty much always going to taste like the most revolting thing that it's possible to put in your mouth. And I don't care where your mind goes with that. It was GROSS. Worst of all, with every mouthfull my mind was screaming: you're eating the intestines of a cow!!!!! Until at last, after a persistence that didn't pay off, after about five mouthfuls - and for about two hours afterwards - I was sure I was going to vomit!
Epic fail, trippa. Epic fail!!
But otherwise, my culinary experiences this week have been fabulous, and I am sure I have put on a good stack of weight and will therefore have something to do when I get home. I'm going to literally run my gelati-laden ass off! And never eat spaghetti again. Until April, at least. Or next week. Amen.
Anyway, I am full of ennui at leaving this beautiful city. Melbourne has the goods, but it aint no Rennaissance city! But I will probably go back to uni now and study Italian and the history of art (I know, right?!!) and then move here. In like April, or next week. Lol. I wish. First I have to pay off the credit card - OUCH! How did THAT happen?!
Farewell to Firenze, and next stop Lundra. And maybe only one or two more blog entries before I get home. Wow! But soon, I will finish my novel and then write one in Italian - just laughed out loud again - and be so rich and famous I really will be able to pop back to Firenze whenever I feel like it, and marry my existential sweetheart and lose my ennui. Oh hang on, that's Tolstoy ... I really haven't read enough Italian literature.... But I do have Pride and Prejudice in Italian and that's good enough. Italian Mr Darcy, come on down!!!
Anyway, must be off. Have to pack at least 50 kilos of luggage into a suitcase and make it seem like it's only 20 ... is that even possible? I'm not very good at physics, but that sounds like a long shot. I may have to actually pack 50 kilos worth of luggage.
Cavoli.
Dear credit card - a new present for you! Another suitcase, and about $500 in excess baggage. Grazie mille!
And the commonwealth bank says 'Prego'.
Thanks Nietzsche. Thanks a whole bunch. (I don't know why it's his fault. I think I just wanted to see if I could still spell Nietzsche after ten years. I don't even know if I did - after 6 weeks of learning Italian, I can barely spell anything and am pretty certain I'm going to look like a complete cretin in many of my classes this year!)
Mamma Mia!
Tomorrow is officially my last day in Firenze. How has this happened? How have the last 6 weeks sailed by so quickly, and yet Pronome are still about 6 weeks more away from being learnt? Some would say 6 years. I JUST DON'T GET THEM!!!!! It's like talking to YODA!!!
Nasty little phlegm wads! Flemma; voglio ucchiderti. (I'd fully piss myself if that was correct, after all this heartache.)
But, I am pleased to say that I am fluent. Yeah, I just laughed out loud, too, in an internet cafe full of people! I am fluent minus about 60 verb conjugations and a complete understanding of Fare. But otherwise, sure - why not?! I believe my teacher's exact words were: as long as you don't get too frustrated or too angry, and concentrate on keeping it simple, you can say whatever you want.
Bless. At least, I think that's what he said - cos he said it in Italian!!! I'm going to pretend, anyway. :-)
I've had the best six weeks ever living in my bubble in Firenze, and I've spent the last week madly trying to finish everything I had to finish: places to visit, food to eat, and dear new friends to spend last few days with. (I will miss you guys heaps! xo) The food part has been excellent: last gelati at Vivoli (chocolate mousse gelati - you are God in disguise. And I am eating you.... Oh well - that's what you wanted, right? The metaphor works!) Last chianti and sangiovese (by the bottle, obviously); last melanzane parmagiana, fagiole con tonno ... first and last EVER trippa.
Sweet Jesus, why is this even a food? WHY??
Last night, after offending someone with my admission that I would eat horse, and snails - basically, I'd eat my own head before I ate tripe - I decided to bite the bullet. I'm here, it's Fiorentino. And there was always the chance it would be the most amazing thing that ever was invented.
I failed maths in year 9, but I remember something about odds in Probability. Well, I reckon the odds were against me on this one - it's the lining of a bloody cow's stomach and it was pretty much always going to taste like the most revolting thing that it's possible to put in your mouth. And I don't care where your mind goes with that. It was GROSS. Worst of all, with every mouthfull my mind was screaming: you're eating the intestines of a cow!!!!! Until at last, after a persistence that didn't pay off, after about five mouthfuls - and for about two hours afterwards - I was sure I was going to vomit!
Epic fail, trippa. Epic fail!!
But otherwise, my culinary experiences this week have been fabulous, and I am sure I have put on a good stack of weight and will therefore have something to do when I get home. I'm going to literally run my gelati-laden ass off! And never eat spaghetti again. Until April, at least. Or next week. Amen.
Anyway, I am full of ennui at leaving this beautiful city. Melbourne has the goods, but it aint no Rennaissance city! But I will probably go back to uni now and study Italian and the history of art (I know, right?!!) and then move here. In like April, or next week. Lol. I wish. First I have to pay off the credit card - OUCH! How did THAT happen?!
Farewell to Firenze, and next stop Lundra. And maybe only one or two more blog entries before I get home. Wow! But soon, I will finish my novel and then write one in Italian - just laughed out loud again - and be so rich and famous I really will be able to pop back to Firenze whenever I feel like it, and marry my existential sweetheart and lose my ennui. Oh hang on, that's Tolstoy ... I really haven't read enough Italian literature.... But I do have Pride and Prejudice in Italian and that's good enough. Italian Mr Darcy, come on down!!!
Anyway, must be off. Have to pack at least 50 kilos of luggage into a suitcase and make it seem like it's only 20 ... is that even possible? I'm not very good at physics, but that sounds like a long shot. I may have to actually pack 50 kilos worth of luggage.
Cavoli.
Dear credit card - a new present for you! Another suitcase, and about $500 in excess baggage. Grazie mille!
And the commonwealth bank says 'Prego'.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
So close, yet so monumentally far!
Dear Brain: whose purpose are you serving here? Mamma Mia! Sei molto stupida e embarrassante, caro!
An evening of highs and lows was my Saturday. (The day itself was high - thanks, girls, for a great day in Siena!) Ieri Sera, the high began with a few bevvies and then I managed to practice/inflict my Italian in a most useful way, and direct a nice elderly couple towards one of my favourite cosy trattorias a few blocks away.
I hope.
But, in fairness to me, after lying to them and agreeing that I was indeed a local of Firenze, they seemed quite prepared to believe that I was fluent in Italian. I would have come clean if they had needed, like, a hospital or diplomatic immunity or something! I was just getting ready to believe in my alleged fluency myself when I got back to my palazzio. Here comes the low bit: standing out on the street was a helpless and forlorn Patrick Dempsey-meets Ben Affleck Uomo di Italiano. He asked me, in Italian, did I know where to find the Hotel Bavaria?
And I did. I live there, hot Italian man who also dresses well and has glasses, so is therefore intellectual :-)
I managed to blurt out this easy response (minus, of course, the superlatives that I kept for myself!) in fairly flustered and incomprehensible Italian and we went up to the hotel. In silence on my part. In silence because, although I KNOW how to say much more than the following basic bloody sentences: What's your name? Where are you from? How long are you in Firenze? You're unbelievably good looking and I am looking to get married to stay in Italy forever and have 15 children and Sunday lunches in Fiesole - my brain went to butter. No, it was already butter. My brain CURLDED!
Cavolo! It would seem I am now my own worst enemy; even my own brain is turning on me! It won't speak in Italian even when it knows how to. I didn't need to give an Italian oral presentation on the pros and cons of asylum seeker policy in Australia, for God's sake! (Although, I have done that!) Just basic small talk, brain. Christ - I could have given him directions as I was taking him up the stairs; it would have been better than nothing! Cavolo! (That's my new non-swear word, as apparently I swear too much!) It would seem my own brain does not want for me to have 15 children that look like either Patrick Dempsey or Ben Affleck. Why not??? Is it really holding out for Matt Damon? Cos this was a fairly reasonable substitute - work with me here, buddy!
I'm now trying to concentrate on the positives - the one positive - which is that he didn't even say thank you when we arrived. It's still kind of a shame, though, as I had recovered my A Game (ha!) and had my best 'prego' prepared.
Cavolo. Prego! That is apparently the best I could do after only ten minutes before giving word perfect directions. Oh Crap!! I probably sent that couple to Siberia! I hope there's no 'bad' area of Firenze. I hope I don't soon pass two elderly persons huddled in a doorway clutching a cardboard sign that reads: need money. Mugged after following the directions of anglo with delusions of Italian grandeur!
I think my A Game is ever so slightly flawed!
Dear Brain: You owe me big time! You must repay me for the damage you have done!
Devi farmi parlare molto bene l'italiano questa settimana. Altrimenti ti ucciderò. Ti ribelli! Basta!
Cavolo!!! Or, cavoli? GOD DAMMIT!!
Anyway - my last week. I have pledged to speak in Italian for the whole week. No exceptions.
This should be a really interesting week. lol.
An evening of highs and lows was my Saturday. (The day itself was high - thanks, girls, for a great day in Siena!) Ieri Sera, the high began with a few bevvies and then I managed to practice/inflict my Italian in a most useful way, and direct a nice elderly couple towards one of my favourite cosy trattorias a few blocks away.
I hope.
But, in fairness to me, after lying to them and agreeing that I was indeed a local of Firenze, they seemed quite prepared to believe that I was fluent in Italian. I would have come clean if they had needed, like, a hospital or diplomatic immunity or something! I was just getting ready to believe in my alleged fluency myself when I got back to my palazzio. Here comes the low bit: standing out on the street was a helpless and forlorn Patrick Dempsey-meets Ben Affleck Uomo di Italiano. He asked me, in Italian, did I know where to find the Hotel Bavaria?
And I did. I live there, hot Italian man who also dresses well and has glasses, so is therefore intellectual :-)
I managed to blurt out this easy response (minus, of course, the superlatives that I kept for myself!) in fairly flustered and incomprehensible Italian and we went up to the hotel. In silence on my part. In silence because, although I KNOW how to say much more than the following basic bloody sentences: What's your name? Where are you from? How long are you in Firenze? You're unbelievably good looking and I am looking to get married to stay in Italy forever and have 15 children and Sunday lunches in Fiesole - my brain went to butter. No, it was already butter. My brain CURLDED!
Cavolo! It would seem I am now my own worst enemy; even my own brain is turning on me! It won't speak in Italian even when it knows how to. I didn't need to give an Italian oral presentation on the pros and cons of asylum seeker policy in Australia, for God's sake! (Although, I have done that!) Just basic small talk, brain. Christ - I could have given him directions as I was taking him up the stairs; it would have been better than nothing! Cavolo! (That's my new non-swear word, as apparently I swear too much!) It would seem my own brain does not want for me to have 15 children that look like either Patrick Dempsey or Ben Affleck. Why not??? Is it really holding out for Matt Damon? Cos this was a fairly reasonable substitute - work with me here, buddy!
I'm now trying to concentrate on the positives - the one positive - which is that he didn't even say thank you when we arrived. It's still kind of a shame, though, as I had recovered my A Game (ha!) and had my best 'prego' prepared.
Cavolo. Prego! That is apparently the best I could do after only ten minutes before giving word perfect directions. Oh Crap!! I probably sent that couple to Siberia! I hope there's no 'bad' area of Firenze. I hope I don't soon pass two elderly persons huddled in a doorway clutching a cardboard sign that reads: need money. Mugged after following the directions of anglo with delusions of Italian grandeur!
I think my A Game is ever so slightly flawed!
Dear Brain: You owe me big time! You must repay me for the damage you have done!
Devi farmi parlare molto bene l'italiano questa settimana. Altrimenti ti ucciderò. Ti ribelli! Basta!
Cavolo!!! Or, cavoli? GOD DAMMIT!!
Anyway - my last week. I have pledged to speak in Italian for the whole week. No exceptions.
This should be a really interesting week. lol.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
One more week. EEK!
Another slack week - but I don't have time to write in English! My goals are, some would say, extreme (Pazzo is a better word) but I've been very busy pretending to become fluent in Italian so I can move to Italy and marry a nice Italian regazzo (senza the madre!) and have 15 children that I will take to Sunday serivce in the Duomo, I simply haven't had time for writing in ENGLISH!!! It's a big job making such grand plans whilst running the gauntlets that are continually being thrown down by my mortal enemies: Fare and Pronome. I really hate you guys! And I already feel less than affectionate towards the verb teneses I haven't met yet - I've heard there are a million of them, and I'm fairly confident they're going to screw me and my future wedding in Venice to the wall!
Not nice, Italain. Not nice. Nice - what kind of an adjective is that?? Oh my God. I can no longer communicate in Italian OR English effectively!
(By the by: Dear Jesus, make it all happen and I really will reconvert and take my 15 children to the Duomo each Sunday. Or maybe that church behind the Piazzale di Michelangelo, so the fat little bastards can walk up all those stairs. They will be eating a lot of gelati, and after 15 children I'll probably need it too.
Oh - and that's just a figure of speech, Lord; they won't really be bastards, I swear it! (And I might settle for two children - I'm an extremely col-lapsed Catholic, after all. We can't expect miracles now, can we?!!)
Anyway, today marks the beginning of my last week in Firenze. And yes, I am already playing with the idea of staying just one more little day!!! It's been a great week - Switzerland (Zurich) last weekend, which was amazing, and this week - no scenery, no study, but plenty of socialising and cheap chianti!!! (I have studied a bit, actually, I'm not crazy - incurring wrath is not part of my itinerary!) I WILL MISS THIS LIFE SO MUCH!!! (Are you LISTENING Jesus/Santa/Zeus???!) Zurich was great: I can sum it up in one word, really: food. Not even particulary glorious culinary experiences, actually - I just ate. I don't know whether to put it down to Friday being especially epically rubbish or just that sausage and chocolate and rosti are ... divinity in an edible form!) I also went to the Zurich museum of fine art, and for the first time I had a REALLY good time being in an art gallery. I love Monet, and I must have spent about an hour just looking at his 6 paintings.
I'm so wonderfully cultured after 3 months in Europe :-)
Anyway, I promise I will elaborate on this culturally (deficient) high calorie weekend at a later date. I have to go to class now. I have one more week, as I said, to become more amazing than that pathetic entry in Italian a few weeks ago. I AM ROCKY!
Or just a rock. Oh Dear!
Not nice, Italain. Not nice. Nice - what kind of an adjective is that?? Oh my God. I can no longer communicate in Italian OR English effectively!
(By the by: Dear Jesus, make it all happen and I really will reconvert and take my 15 children to the Duomo each Sunday. Or maybe that church behind the Piazzale di Michelangelo, so the fat little bastards can walk up all those stairs. They will be eating a lot of gelati, and after 15 children I'll probably need it too.
Oh - and that's just a figure of speech, Lord; they won't really be bastards, I swear it! (And I might settle for two children - I'm an extremely col-lapsed Catholic, after all. We can't expect miracles now, can we?!!)
Anyway, today marks the beginning of my last week in Firenze. And yes, I am already playing with the idea of staying just one more little day!!! It's been a great week - Switzerland (Zurich) last weekend, which was amazing, and this week - no scenery, no study, but plenty of socialising and cheap chianti!!! (I have studied a bit, actually, I'm not crazy - incurring wrath is not part of my itinerary!) I WILL MISS THIS LIFE SO MUCH!!! (Are you LISTENING Jesus/Santa/Zeus???!) Zurich was great: I can sum it up in one word, really: food. Not even particulary glorious culinary experiences, actually - I just ate. I don't know whether to put it down to Friday being especially epically rubbish or just that sausage and chocolate and rosti are ... divinity in an edible form!) I also went to the Zurich museum of fine art, and for the first time I had a REALLY good time being in an art gallery. I love Monet, and I must have spent about an hour just looking at his 6 paintings.
I'm so wonderfully cultured after 3 months in Europe :-)
Anyway, I promise I will elaborate on this culturally (deficient) high calorie weekend at a later date. I have to go to class now. I have one more week, as I said, to become more amazing than that pathetic entry in Italian a few weeks ago. I AM ROCKY!
Or just a rock. Oh Dear!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I am the smartest idiot alive!!!
So, another day, another decision to make - and this time, it's a big one: when one is in Europe, where does one go for the weekend???
I've been pondering this AWFUL question for the past week; and it is awful, because I have too many choices - and they are all awesome. Because this is Europe! Do I stay in Italy and inflict my Italian, like a plague, on the poor and unsuspecting inhabitants? Cinqueterra? Milan (Shoes!!)? Sicily? Siena? (Is close, at least!!) Or, for two measley days do I jump a train to Prague, Croatia, Greece?
Why am I even naming countries and cities? There are a million to choose from!!The real quesiton is, what do I want?
I know! I want to stay here for the whole of 2011 and see them all!
Yeah. Fuck off universe, I hear you. I will be returning to Australia in exactly 4 weeks. How repugnant! Lol.
So, thus the reason for my quandry: 4 weeks equals 4 weekends. 3 actually, because the last one is taken. Oh My God!! I have to see the rest of Europe in 4 weeks!!! Why the hell did I stay so long in Florence???
Because I love it :-). And, excellent news on the news front - I PASSED LEVEL ONE!!! After saying no to too many bevvies all week, I managed to spit in the face of ci (HORROR), pronomi (TERROR) and essere and fare (the devil and the antichrist respectively). When yesterday I was running to the bathroom to cry quietly in the foetal position under the sink (no, not really but it could have happened - and my classmates thought that was why I was going!!) today, like Rocky, I was punching the air in triumph!!! While yesterday, I wanted to punch Italian in the face!!! (No,not really!!)
My analogy worked! I wonder if I should also go for a run up some stairs. Will I get fit in one single montage of exercise like Rocky did? And lose the 4 course dinner I had the other night (and the gelati I've had every day?!!!)? Hmmm. 4 course dinner ...
Food is good!
Anyway, enough bullshit. I passed, Florence is ace and all is well. Except for the fact that I can't seem to download my photos, but if that's my biggest problem today I can live with that! And I'm sure I will also decide where I want to eat dinner momentarily, whether it will be pizza or pasta, and if I want the boots with fur on them, or without - those swanky black ones.
Hmm. Do you hate me for the kind of decisions I have to make right now?? Is a far cry from when the year 12s will do the SAC and what will we do in the meeting!!!!
Now, about that weekend? Sheesh! Maybe I will decide on Saturday :-)
I've been pondering this AWFUL question for the past week; and it is awful, because I have too many choices - and they are all awesome. Because this is Europe! Do I stay in Italy and inflict my Italian, like a plague, on the poor and unsuspecting inhabitants? Cinqueterra? Milan (Shoes!!)? Sicily? Siena? (Is close, at least!!) Or, for two measley days do I jump a train to Prague, Croatia, Greece?
Why am I even naming countries and cities? There are a million to choose from!!The real quesiton is, what do I want?
I know! I want to stay here for the whole of 2011 and see them all!
Yeah. Fuck off universe, I hear you. I will be returning to Australia in exactly 4 weeks. How repugnant! Lol.
So, thus the reason for my quandry: 4 weeks equals 4 weekends. 3 actually, because the last one is taken. Oh My God!! I have to see the rest of Europe in 4 weeks!!! Why the hell did I stay so long in Florence???
Because I love it :-). And, excellent news on the news front - I PASSED LEVEL ONE!!! After saying no to too many bevvies all week, I managed to spit in the face of ci (HORROR), pronomi (TERROR) and essere and fare (the devil and the antichrist respectively). When yesterday I was running to the bathroom to cry quietly in the foetal position under the sink (no, not really but it could have happened - and my classmates thought that was why I was going!!) today, like Rocky, I was punching the air in triumph!!! While yesterday, I wanted to punch Italian in the face!!! (No,not really!!)
My analogy worked! I wonder if I should also go for a run up some stairs. Will I get fit in one single montage of exercise like Rocky did? And lose the 4 course dinner I had the other night (and the gelati I've had every day?!!!)? Hmmm. 4 course dinner ...
Food is good!
Anyway, enough bullshit. I passed, Florence is ace and all is well. Except for the fact that I can't seem to download my photos, but if that's my biggest problem today I can live with that! And I'm sure I will also decide where I want to eat dinner momentarily, whether it will be pizza or pasta, and if I want the boots with fur on them, or without - those swanky black ones.
Hmm. Do you hate me for the kind of decisions I have to make right now?? Is a far cry from when the year 12s will do the SAC and what will we do in the meeting!!!!
Now, about that weekend? Sheesh! Maybe I will decide on Saturday :-)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Yay for sun, sangivonese and spaghetti Bol. Oh, and Venice!
A great weekend - two in a row (actually, about 8 in a row but who's counting?!)
This weekend saw me head up to Venice on the early train yesterday for some freezing fun. Whilst it was forecast to be 15 in Florence, I missed that - there is no way it could have been more than about 5 - and froze my little fingers off. But who can care when they're in Venice? It was as magical as I remembered - and as expensive!!! Jesus H! I took out all my money for the week and came back with nothing - and all I had to show for it was a vaporetto ride, a couple of panini and a handful of coffees.
A handful of coffees. Methinks I'm now addicted to espressos. I want one NOW!
It was beautiful, and I'll be boring the socks off everyone shortly with the photos - I must have photographed every little alleyway in Venice! I visited a few basilicas, the odd church - San Marcoàs, of course - and the Palace of the Doges, but beyond that I just spent hours wondering.
And getting very, VERY lost.
Dear Jesus: your maps of Venice are wrong. Yep. They are not to scale, they lie about where streets are, and I don't see how it is possible to get from one side of the grand canal to the other without crossing a bridge. And yet it happened. I swear, it did!!! I felt like I was having a seizure!
Maps of Venice are the devil, and eventually I lost it, and didn't really seem to fare any worse!! Eventuallt, you either end up at San Marco's, the Realto or the ocean - it took all bloody day of being lost, but eventually I buffered my way between these places, stopping here and there for a ten dollar coffee. And these awesome cookies that apprently used to be favourites of one of the Doges, but which is probably just an excuse to charge five dollars for a cookie.
It was worth it.
Today I met with my friends (who didn't join me in Venice due to outrageous fortune of it all) in Bologna - home of the Bolognese and tortellini that is now in my belly, along with most of the bottle of Sangiovense. Oh red wine, you really are delicious in Italy. But not in Australia. Amen. :-) Then we had gelati and strolled/tottered around the beautiful old city, pretending to speak Italian in slurred voices. Actually, I think when I'm drunk I really CAN speak Italian!!! Going to buy a bottle of tequila right now in time for class tomorrow!!
No. I will be good. I will go home and study right now. Right after I find a McDonalds!!!!! Hangover food is hangover food, no matter which side of the world you are on!!!
And tomorrow, I am going to wake up fluent anyway, because I am Rocky. Amen.
Ciao Il Miei Amici!!
This weekend saw me head up to Venice on the early train yesterday for some freezing fun. Whilst it was forecast to be 15 in Florence, I missed that - there is no way it could have been more than about 5 - and froze my little fingers off. But who can care when they're in Venice? It was as magical as I remembered - and as expensive!!! Jesus H! I took out all my money for the week and came back with nothing - and all I had to show for it was a vaporetto ride, a couple of panini and a handful of coffees.
A handful of coffees. Methinks I'm now addicted to espressos. I want one NOW!
It was beautiful, and I'll be boring the socks off everyone shortly with the photos - I must have photographed every little alleyway in Venice! I visited a few basilicas, the odd church - San Marcoàs, of course - and the Palace of the Doges, but beyond that I just spent hours wondering.
And getting very, VERY lost.
Dear Jesus: your maps of Venice are wrong. Yep. They are not to scale, they lie about where streets are, and I don't see how it is possible to get from one side of the grand canal to the other without crossing a bridge. And yet it happened. I swear, it did!!! I felt like I was having a seizure!
Maps of Venice are the devil, and eventually I lost it, and didn't really seem to fare any worse!! Eventuallt, you either end up at San Marco's, the Realto or the ocean - it took all bloody day of being lost, but eventually I buffered my way between these places, stopping here and there for a ten dollar coffee. And these awesome cookies that apprently used to be favourites of one of the Doges, but which is probably just an excuse to charge five dollars for a cookie.
It was worth it.
Today I met with my friends (who didn't join me in Venice due to outrageous fortune of it all) in Bologna - home of the Bolognese and tortellini that is now in my belly, along with most of the bottle of Sangiovense. Oh red wine, you really are delicious in Italy. But not in Australia. Amen. :-) Then we had gelati and strolled/tottered around the beautiful old city, pretending to speak Italian in slurred voices. Actually, I think when I'm drunk I really CAN speak Italian!!! Going to buy a bottle of tequila right now in time for class tomorrow!!
No. I will be good. I will go home and study right now. Right after I find a McDonalds!!!!! Hangover food is hangover food, no matter which side of the world you are on!!!
And tomorrow, I am going to wake up fluent anyway, because I am Rocky. Amen.
Ciao Il Miei Amici!!
Friday, February 4, 2011
A new day, a new comittment.
Ok, so I was a bit of a cranky pants yesterday; I blame the mixture of tequila, chianti and Heinekin that, when taken together, acts as a portal to another world, where one can't speak Italian and gets all shitty and teary that they can't speak Italian. Or do other things (oh my God I HAVE to stop daydreaming about that in class too, because it is NOT HELPING!!!)
Well, not literally teary. Actually, I just wanted to smash Italian's face in (before my teacher smashed mine!)
Anyway, I have renounced this evil world and from now on will only drink chianti and Heinekin separately. And I will not drink tequila at all!! I made a solomn oath ten years ago never to touch tequila again, and that resolution has held fast until now - tequila is the antichrist. Amen!
So, after a good night's sleep, I made the decision to stay yet another two weeks in Florence. And also, to be absolutely, resolutely determined that I can speak and understand Italian within that month. I am Rocky!!!! I shall triumph - either by speaking fluently or, like Rocky, smashing my opponent's head in!! (And please note, I am speaking metaphorically - I am not going to smash ANYTHING!:-)
Today was better - in a sense. That sense being that I didn't get upset when I got EVERY future bullshit essere verb thingy wrong. I just laughed and heaped on the self-deprecating humour that all Australians love but that seems to really upset Italians. So, I can't win - I'm upsetting my teacher whatever I do!!!!! But, relaxed I did throw in a few pearler comments that I think were fairly impressive, and made me look less remedial.
Oh, the pain of being remedial. As I said today - in Italian - I am so used to be being ONE of the smartest people in the classroom, not the stupidest person in the SCHOOL!!!! This is the self-deprecation that gets me into trouble. They should be concentrating on my ability to joke in Italian, God dammit!!!
Anyway, another month and I can't wait :-). This weekend is set to be awesome, too: Venice with some friends from school, from which I will return early(ish) to watch the superbowl with some other friends on Sunday night. NO TEQUILA AND NO BEER. Just wine this weekend.
And I will study my arse off as well!
Well, not literally teary. Actually, I just wanted to smash Italian's face in (before my teacher smashed mine!)
Anyway, I have renounced this evil world and from now on will only drink chianti and Heinekin separately. And I will not drink tequila at all!! I made a solomn oath ten years ago never to touch tequila again, and that resolution has held fast until now - tequila is the antichrist. Amen!
So, after a good night's sleep, I made the decision to stay yet another two weeks in Florence. And also, to be absolutely, resolutely determined that I can speak and understand Italian within that month. I am Rocky!!!! I shall triumph - either by speaking fluently or, like Rocky, smashing my opponent's head in!! (And please note, I am speaking metaphorically - I am not going to smash ANYTHING!:-)
Today was better - in a sense. That sense being that I didn't get upset when I got EVERY future bullshit essere verb thingy wrong. I just laughed and heaped on the self-deprecating humour that all Australians love but that seems to really upset Italians. So, I can't win - I'm upsetting my teacher whatever I do!!!!! But, relaxed I did throw in a few pearler comments that I think were fairly impressive, and made me look less remedial.
Oh, the pain of being remedial. As I said today - in Italian - I am so used to be being ONE of the smartest people in the classroom, not the stupidest person in the SCHOOL!!!! This is the self-deprecation that gets me into trouble. They should be concentrating on my ability to joke in Italian, God dammit!!!
Anyway, another month and I can't wait :-). This weekend is set to be awesome, too: Venice with some friends from school, from which I will return early(ish) to watch the superbowl with some other friends on Sunday night. NO TEQUILA AND NO BEER. Just wine this weekend.
And I will study my arse off as well!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Caterina sucks and is not going to be biligual today
I've been a bit slack with this blog - one measly entry, and in Italian, in almost two weeks - but I've been so busy immersing myself (formal for fucking drowning) in lingua di Italiano, I barely have time to write or do anything else during the week - apart from those weekly beer drinking sessions at Salamancas, that is! And I will NOT be doing that again: when drunk, I reckon I can speak Italian as well as the next student; when I'm hung over, I have brain damage and can barely communicate in English, let alone Italian. And I can't stand the mortification. I'm STILL embarrassed about how shit I was yesterday. Note to universe: am I just wasting everyone's time?
I suck at Italian.
I feel this week like I am making absolutely no progress at all, which places me in a quandary: on the one hand, I really do love it here - it's Florence for God's sake! I have good friends, and when I don't look like a halfwit, I have a lot of fun. And I do not want to fail at this!!! So now I'm stuck between staying longer in Florence, and sticking out at what I started, or fleeing for dear life because I feel like any day now one of my teachers is going to smack my head in!!!
Second part of the quandry: I have to whole of Europe at my disposal and I don't want to be anywhere else. I love Florence!!! But I don't want to suck at Italian any more either!!! So, Jesus/Santa/tooth fairy/fairy godmother/Zeus: I need to wake up fluent really soon!!! Tomorrow would rock. Amen. If not fluent myself, can I please friggin understand what my teachers are saying? I feel like Italian is an organ transplant and my brain is rejecting it. I need some anti rejection medication stat!
On a brighter note, there is Gelati and I spent last weekend with my very old friend Kirsten and her husband, when I travelled to Germania. I haven't seen Kirsten in 10 years, and it was so awesome to catch up with her again. We went on a two day tourism spree, and I ate lots of sausage and German beer - so I was happy :-) They were fantastic hosts - it was like I'd seen Kirsten every week for the last decade.
Anyway, I am going to STUDY my ass off tonight. And tomorrow I will speak to hotel manager and actually make sense: I'm pretty sure is merely hiding a truckload of frustration behind a veneer of extreme handsomeness and congeniality. This makes me very sad :-(
I think I need some new shoes.
I suck at Italian.
I feel this week like I am making absolutely no progress at all, which places me in a quandary: on the one hand, I really do love it here - it's Florence for God's sake! I have good friends, and when I don't look like a halfwit, I have a lot of fun. And I do not want to fail at this!!! So now I'm stuck between staying longer in Florence, and sticking out at what I started, or fleeing for dear life because I feel like any day now one of my teachers is going to smack my head in!!!
Second part of the quandry: I have to whole of Europe at my disposal and I don't want to be anywhere else. I love Florence!!! But I don't want to suck at Italian any more either!!! So, Jesus/Santa/tooth fairy/fairy godmother/Zeus: I need to wake up fluent really soon!!! Tomorrow would rock. Amen. If not fluent myself, can I please friggin understand what my teachers are saying? I feel like Italian is an organ transplant and my brain is rejecting it. I need some anti rejection medication stat!
On a brighter note, there is Gelati and I spent last weekend with my very old friend Kirsten and her husband, when I travelled to Germania. I haven't seen Kirsten in 10 years, and it was so awesome to catch up with her again. We went on a two day tourism spree, and I ate lots of sausage and German beer - so I was happy :-) They were fantastic hosts - it was like I'd seen Kirsten every week for the last decade.
Anyway, I am going to STUDY my ass off tonight. And tomorrow I will speak to hotel manager and actually make sense: I'm pretty sure is merely hiding a truckload of frustration behind a veneer of extreme handsomeness and congeniality. This makes me very sad :-(
I think I need some new shoes.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Coming to you live in Italian ... NO GOOGLE TRANSLATE!!!
Firenze e un bellissimo citta e sono arrivuto qui due settimane fa e io non posso dicedere quando a partire da Firenze perche mi piace Firenze troppo. Mi piace l'storia e la grande architecturo e vicinanza da altra citta in Italia. Qualche volte io manco il miei amici ma io vado in Australia e io torno a lavorare presto quindi devo gradire molto Firenze io potere. E, ho Facebook!! Anche, il collegi da lavorato sono tornato alla scuola Santa Monica ieri mattina. Io non geloso essere in Europa perche sebbene io studio, e piu divertamente e rilassare essere una studenta! (Yeah. Rivetting stuff!)
Cosa mi piace di piu Firenze?
Numero uno: il duomo. sull esterno e molto bello, e molto grande e colorato. La cuppola e spetaccolore! Ma, penso sul interno e poco noioso. Si! E vuoto!
Numero due: spaghetti. Posso mangiare spaghetti in altri posti ma mi piace spaghetti a Firenze con oglio e peppe. Buona!
Numero tre: gelati. Posso inoltre mangiare gelato in altri posti ma mi piace la gelataria accanto a Plaza San Marco perche hanno biscotti e cioccolato gelato!!
Numero quattro: io mangio il cibu di Toscana, in particolore ribollita e il piatto con i fagioli e tonno (No so il nome). E bevo chianti. In Australia, non mi piace vino rosso, ma il chianti e buona in Italia. BUONA! Ma se io bevo troppo, io avro un mal di testa! Ho un mal di testa oggi!
Numero cinque: il ponto vecchio. Mi piace gli edificio antico e negozi; ci sono molti negozi sull Ponto Vecchio!
Ma, quella che mi piace di piu a Firenze sono i negozi. Posso trovare tutti! Le Scarpe e magliette e dvds di La Bella e la Bestia! Ieri sera ho trovato le traduzione in Italiano di Orgoglio e Pregiudizio perche e il mio favorito libro in Inglese. Io non posso leggare questo libro in Italiano ma non mi interessa. Ma, io voiglio imparare a cantare le canzone di La Bella e La Bestia quindi io posso cantare sotto la doccia, in Italiano.
Quando io torno a Melbourne e staro bene ma io pensero a Firenze e la migliore citta nell' universo e io voglio vivere qui. Amen.
Cosa mi piace di piu Firenze?
Numero uno: il duomo. sull esterno e molto bello, e molto grande e colorato. La cuppola e spetaccolore! Ma, penso sul interno e poco noioso. Si! E vuoto!
Numero due: spaghetti. Posso mangiare spaghetti in altri posti ma mi piace spaghetti a Firenze con oglio e peppe. Buona!
Numero tre: gelati. Posso inoltre mangiare gelato in altri posti ma mi piace la gelataria accanto a Plaza San Marco perche hanno biscotti e cioccolato gelato!!
Numero quattro: io mangio il cibu di Toscana, in particolore ribollita e il piatto con i fagioli e tonno (No so il nome). E bevo chianti. In Australia, non mi piace vino rosso, ma il chianti e buona in Italia. BUONA! Ma se io bevo troppo, io avro un mal di testa! Ho un mal di testa oggi!
Numero cinque: il ponto vecchio. Mi piace gli edificio antico e negozi; ci sono molti negozi sull Ponto Vecchio!
Ma, quella che mi piace di piu a Firenze sono i negozi. Posso trovare tutti! Le Scarpe e magliette e dvds di La Bella e la Bestia! Ieri sera ho trovato le traduzione in Italiano di Orgoglio e Pregiudizio perche e il mio favorito libro in Inglese. Io non posso leggare questo libro in Italiano ma non mi interessa. Ma, io voiglio imparare a cantare le canzone di La Bella e La Bestia quindi io posso cantare sotto la doccia, in Italiano.
Quando io torno a Melbourne e staro bene ma io pensero a Firenze e la migliore citta nell' universo e io voglio vivere qui. Amen.
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