Not too good at this blogging thing …
In writing this blog, facebooking like a maniac, and writing rubbish stories for publications that are even more rubbish (they are; my pieces of gold usually get “dumbed” down to suit the demographic!) I have discovered (and in only a few short weeks, too) two things:
1. My ability to believe that I can indeed get away with writing extremely long sentences as long as I use all the punctuation marks from commas through to semi-colons – and for it still to sound awesome!
2. My need for immediate gratification!
*Please, please, please post a comment to my blog, status etc! I am a writer and I want to be loved!*
Herein lies my quandary, perhaps: back when I was a wee lass of between 14 and 22, I used to be able to churn out stories at an incredible rate – sometimes up to forty-thousand words in length in a few short weeks! And yes, whilst I often made my friends and family a cast of serial killers, rape victims, drug smugglers and extremely-wealthy-and-successful-beautiful-journalist-types-who-get-married-to-cricket-players-with-South-African-accents (ok – that was me!) – yes Mills and Boon for my nearest and dearest – they were so much fun to write!
Could it be that I can only write when I know I will be receiving quick and positive gratification/validation for my efforts? Even on the website that shall remain nameless where I post my junk stories, people write the nastiest criticisms – but they are sooo much fun to read, revealing the stupidity of people who read the junk stories posted on such websites!!
Next status update:
Katmol needs gratification, affection, and gifts of cupcakes to be productive.
Now comment, damnit!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Research is work, right?
A week ago I really sat down and nutted out a feasible plot structure for my epic novel. It’s not that big a deal - I often do this, and then I get really excited for about three minutes, until someone asks me to have coffee or check out some boots or book a really expensive holiday that I can in no way afford on my current salary so I need to spend all my time churning out crap to pay for my extravagant lifestyle.
Wow. Long sentence and an equally long list of excuses – I’m breathless!
The work-novel- life balance is not one that’s easy to overcome, but I’m trying. Last night I even asked my friend what a Dugite is – getting very excited when I realised it’s a very venomous type of snake (extremely pertinent to my novel) and then falling flat to disappointment when I realised it’s a native of Western Australia (extremely irrelevant to my novel – which is set where I grew up. No where near Western Australia, but with plenty of Brown Snakes and Tiger Snakes to kill off my characters.)
Just a few drops of a Tiger snake’s venom is enough to kill over one hundred people. True story (well, according to the internet – and that never lies!)
And actress Amy Adams had a baby girl. See how easy it is for me to be distracted?!
Back back to task: how’s this for a snippet of my character’s morbid death:
Claire shakes him now, and his head kind of lolls to the side. Is his tongue hanging out? Yes, it is. Saliva oozes out onto the pillow, a sticky bungee rope of spit.
So – that’s four things I’ve done in twenty four hours: research, a blog, and more research. And a sentence!!!!
I can see that Pulitzer Prize already!
Now, time for another coffee I reckon!
Wow. Long sentence and an equally long list of excuses – I’m breathless!
The work-novel- life balance is not one that’s easy to overcome, but I’m trying. Last night I even asked my friend what a Dugite is – getting very excited when I realised it’s a very venomous type of snake (extremely pertinent to my novel) and then falling flat to disappointment when I realised it’s a native of Western Australia (extremely irrelevant to my novel – which is set where I grew up. No where near Western Australia, but with plenty of Brown Snakes and Tiger Snakes to kill off my characters.)
Just a few drops of a Tiger snake’s venom is enough to kill over one hundred people. True story (well, according to the internet – and that never lies!)
And actress Amy Adams had a baby girl. See how easy it is for me to be distracted?!
Back back to task: how’s this for a snippet of my character’s morbid death:
Claire shakes him now, and his head kind of lolls to the side. Is his tongue hanging out? Yes, it is. Saliva oozes out onto the pillow, a sticky bungee rope of spit.
So – that’s four things I’ve done in twenty four hours: research, a blog, and more research. And a sentence!!!!
I can see that Pulitzer Prize already!
Now, time for another coffee I reckon!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Keeping it interesting ...
Writing Lesson number one: keep it interesting.
One of the biggest criticisms I ever got as a writer (via peers and editors) was that I tell, instead of show. It’s what you do when you try to get the most apparent (maybe boring) details across as quickly as possible, when you could easily infer them through brilliant descriptions and anecdotes of alternative events in the story.
This is something that some of us do every day. Case in point: status updates. To my friends out there who read this, I accuse no one of this crime: I just know it happens. But to be on the safe side, I have decided I will try to make status updates on facebook as interesting and entertaining as possible. Because it’s important to know that I crave a pair of sparkly tap shoes, or that I want wear sausages on my head if I’m going to be a Bavarian dancer.
Gone are the days of “KatMol woke up this morning” (actually, I never was that tedious – and neither are my ‘friends’ – but I can guarantee you there are people who are) and “KatMol has a pulse and is still breathing” (again – didn’t write it, but I’ve deleted people who have). It all begs the question: not everyone is creative, but does that mean a status update is allowed to absolutely state the obvious?
“Katmol is really being a bitch today!”
Maybe – but that is what I am talking about. That’s not inspired as such, but it invites the questions: why?
What’s happened?
Can you stop being such a critical, nasty troll and let me write that I have milk in the fridge, if that’s what I want to write?
That invites questions too – who cares? Seriously? Who does?
Rule of thumb: if someone can legitimitely comment "Who actually gives a shit" and not sound like an insensitive toolbox, you might have to come up with a better status update!
Facebook is aweseome – I’ll admit it, I’m addicted. “Hi, my name is KatMol and I’m a facebook-aholic!” But do you know what I’m addicted to? Finding out the fantastic, trivial but important things that are going on in my friends’ lives. Tell me you’re having a great day, by all means, but don’t tell me you just drove to work if that’s what you ALWAYS DO!!!
Like with all writing, the trivial is interesting. The obvious is not.
But seriously, write what you want. Just don’t tell me you’re wearing shoes to work.
Unless you work in a swimming pool!
One of the biggest criticisms I ever got as a writer (via peers and editors) was that I tell, instead of show. It’s what you do when you try to get the most apparent (maybe boring) details across as quickly as possible, when you could easily infer them through brilliant descriptions and anecdotes of alternative events in the story.
This is something that some of us do every day. Case in point: status updates. To my friends out there who read this, I accuse no one of this crime: I just know it happens. But to be on the safe side, I have decided I will try to make status updates on facebook as interesting and entertaining as possible. Because it’s important to know that I crave a pair of sparkly tap shoes, or that I want wear sausages on my head if I’m going to be a Bavarian dancer.
Gone are the days of “KatMol woke up this morning” (actually, I never was that tedious – and neither are my ‘friends’ – but I can guarantee you there are people who are) and “KatMol has a pulse and is still breathing” (again – didn’t write it, but I’ve deleted people who have). It all begs the question: not everyone is creative, but does that mean a status update is allowed to absolutely state the obvious?
“Katmol is really being a bitch today!”
Maybe – but that is what I am talking about. That’s not inspired as such, but it invites the questions: why?
What’s happened?
Can you stop being such a critical, nasty troll and let me write that I have milk in the fridge, if that’s what I want to write?
That invites questions too – who cares? Seriously? Who does?
Rule of thumb: if someone can legitimitely comment "Who actually gives a shit" and not sound like an insensitive toolbox, you might have to come up with a better status update!
Facebook is aweseome – I’ll admit it, I’m addicted. “Hi, my name is KatMol and I’m a facebook-aholic!” But do you know what I’m addicted to? Finding out the fantastic, trivial but important things that are going on in my friends’ lives. Tell me you’re having a great day, by all means, but don’t tell me you just drove to work if that’s what you ALWAYS DO!!!
Like with all writing, the trivial is interesting. The obvious is not.
But seriously, write what you want. Just don’t tell me you’re wearing shoes to work.
Unless you work in a swimming pool!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Life (or something like it)
I’m worried that this blog is just going to become a list of excuses as to why I’m not writing the best selling novel. Or where I bitch about those little incidents that happen from day to day, that I can never elaborate on because I’m not sure who’s reading this blog.
Wow – even when blogging, creative output can be stifled!
I had a good weekend, but it was a hard weekend – and not just because I agreed to run in an 8 k “marathon” that had hills I was not prepared for! I found that sometimes, even when you want to write, emotionally life just gets in the way. And so does a crazy lady who sells cats for a living (ah – lady, the Simpsons have called and they want their character back!)
Drainer!
Worst still, I had finally decided that Wednesday night was going to be writing night – a splendid comittment where one sits in a cafe for hours, drinks copious amounts of caffeine and just writes - and now I find I will be singing Spring-time for Hitler [whilst not wearing sausages on my head, which is just so disappointing!] 65ks up the Hume instead.
Double Drainer!
This morning, when I went for my daily dose of sunshine in a cup (that would be the first dose, and yes, also my pet name for coffee) I was asked how my mother’s day went. And when I replied that I did not see my mother, came the horrid statement:
- no, not for you mum. For YOU.
Apparently, when you reach a certain age, it is obligatory to have children, just to fit in with society’s assumptions that you do! How inconvenient for her!
Galling. Totally, utterly galling.
Happy mother’s day to all mothers out there – especially my mum, my aunties, my grandmother and my cousins – but society take heed:
I am too busy to procreate. I have to win the Nobel Prize for Literature.
And bake lots of cupcakes!
Wow – even when blogging, creative output can be stifled!
I had a good weekend, but it was a hard weekend – and not just because I agreed to run in an 8 k “marathon” that had hills I was not prepared for! I found that sometimes, even when you want to write, emotionally life just gets in the way. And so does a crazy lady who sells cats for a living (ah – lady, the Simpsons have called and they want their character back!)
Drainer!
Worst still, I had finally decided that Wednesday night was going to be writing night – a splendid comittment where one sits in a cafe for hours, drinks copious amounts of caffeine and just writes - and now I find I will be singing Spring-time for Hitler [whilst not wearing sausages on my head, which is just so disappointing!] 65ks up the Hume instead.
Double Drainer!
This morning, when I went for my daily dose of sunshine in a cup (that would be the first dose, and yes, also my pet name for coffee) I was asked how my mother’s day went. And when I replied that I did not see my mother, came the horrid statement:
- no, not for you mum. For YOU.
Apparently, when you reach a certain age, it is obligatory to have children, just to fit in with society’s assumptions that you do! How inconvenient for her!
Galling. Totally, utterly galling.
Happy mother’s day to all mothers out there – especially my mum, my aunties, my grandmother and my cousins – but society take heed:
I am too busy to procreate. I have to win the Nobel Prize for Literature.
And bake lots of cupcakes!
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