Last blog, and last cadbury chocolate bar! It's taken a long time to develop my taste buds, but I think my ten year romance with English Cadbury has finally come to an end. Perche'? Oops - why?! It may be from the 1KG box of Lindt I consumed/gave away/threw out/never-want-to-see-another-Lindor-ball-again, but I finally had my first cadbury bar in England (this trip), and it was nasty.
Well, ok, not nasty. I ate it. And if someone offered me another one, I'd eat that. I'd eat my own head as long as it wasn't covered in tripe or snails if I'm hungry enough! But the NEW suitcase I bought at Marks and Sparks for the sole purpose of trafficking illegal quantities of chocolate bars over international borders will now need to be put to better use.
Oh. I used the wrong tense, there. It already has been. Thanks Monsoon - you are the best! Christi Cavolo mamma mia FUCK! I don't need ten kilos of chocolate, but I don't need ANY new clothes or shoes, either!!! Goddamn you London! Can somebody please get married/have a party/invite me to dinner so I can wear my fancy-schmancy shoes and frocks? (I like the word frock now: deal with it gli miei amici!!!) They are pretty though :-)
And necessary. I am a cultured European now (pfft) and only like all things fine, including wine, shoes and chocolate :-) (I'm almost wetting my pants at this impression of myself as I sit here in a cafe wearing my Zara trackies and a beret and looking like a bucket of shit!) However, coffee: this is where I draw the line! I found 'Laura's' coffee shop today and thank God I did - I thought I was going to need strapping down in a dark room, with complete removal of stimulus! I was drinking 6 ESPRESSOS PER DAY!!! Jesus Christ! Finito!
Until Lygon st!!!
Today is my last full day, and I am doing it in style! Basically, I have a list of things to eat, and I am working my way through it!!! When I have a heart attack later this year, remember this day as the one that started the ball rolling! Bacon butties, banoffee pies and cream teas will all feature on today's schedule, along with the city landscape, obviously. And no more shopping!!!! Non FARE da shopping! (I hate you FARE). I have just packed my suitcase for the last time, and I do not intend to jam anything else into it - I should actually say I have just packed all of my bags, for I now have four! If customs wants to open them to see if I am indeed trafficking copius amounts of chocolate back to Australia, they can just have them. Blow them up!! There are so many little eiffle tower souvenirs-come missiles in there, they will be the deadliest suitcase bombs ever!!!!
I kid. I so kid!!
But seriously, picture a grown woman wrestling, spreadeagled on top of her suitcase, with a zipper for half and hour and you've got a fairly clear image of what my morning was like! I am not going through that in an airport!! I also emerged from that experience with the clear conviction that, though a shit movie, Confessions of a Shopaholic was like a window into my soul. Minus getting the hot guy, of course. And her green sciarpa was better than mine!!!
Is intervention time!
I am announcing, from London, my intention to give up shopping. Amen. If I can do this, then I will reward myself.... With shopping!! Who wants to come?!
Alright. Much to see, only a few short hours in which to see it. Ciao Regazzi! In Aus, I will see you shortly. In Europa, thanks so much for the memories! And watch this space - now I get to go back to banging on about winning the Pulitzer!! Or whatever the hell it was! Maybe I will just settle for a few thousand dollars, so I can come back and live in Italy and marry whoever and eat spaghetti. Simple dreams I have. Simple dreams!!!! xoxo
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