But no fat pig!!!
Pretty much the first comments made by each of my parents, separately, on my return, were grand salutations on how fat I was NOT! And more followed. It would seem that when you write a blog that centres around food - and how crap you are at love and languages, which I suppose leads to connotations of comfort eating - people expect you to come back the size of house!
I kind of expected it too!
To be fair, I've put on a couple. But I'm wearing my old jeans today, so 6 weeks of gelati and cheese has clearly (VERY clearly) decided to stake its claim on my face. And my chest. I'd like my chin to return to normal, thanks heaps, and hope to God there's no delayed flight to my arse. PLEASE!
I'm going back to the gym tomorrow to make sure that last bacon butty stays away!! Between running for the first time in three months, and that very bacon butty ... and all the other bacon butties ... I expect to have my first heart attack tomorrow as well, and must remember to renew my ambulance membership, which has lapsed. :-)
Good times, food. Good times! Tu sei la mia amica! Per Sempre!
But I am home, and how glorious it is to be home! Now that the sleep-deprived psychosis you were all privvy to has subsided after two nights of comatose-ness (I love you pillow!), I am enthralled in enjoying the following:
1. My friends. Have had a big weekend of catch ups, scrambled eggs (I might as well sign up for a heart transplant now, really!), vino (I did miss you, New Zealand's finest sav blanc - no matter what hurtful things I said during my affair with Sangiovese!!), surprise conversations in Italian with random Italians met at parties (didn't do too badly I must say!!) And coffee. Sort of. But not really.
I do miss good Italian coffee. I know it exists here, but I've had some rather rubbish macchiatos to date - it's the baristas, perhaps, and not the coffee beans. I have also decided that soy lattes are incredibly shit, and am renouncing them. What was I thinking??? You can't put soy milk in coffee!!!! To boot, my mum just this minute offered me one of those 'little packet things' - powdered milk cappuccinos.
Need I say more?
I nearly wet my pants, actually! For the past 6 weeks, I have been bastardising la lingua di Italia, but I will not disgrace my memory of their coffee!! Powdered milk has no place in coffee - it's just one thousand disgusting granules of wrong-ness, and I laughed in her face!!
Yes. It is true. I am now a pretentious twat! I'll get over it :-) And for the record, I have always hated powdered milk cappuccinos! How can ANYONE like them???
2. The Australian summer. Or autumn. It's not scorching, it's not freddo, it's just perfect! I've had two magnificent days working on my tan whilst drinking said sav blanc and rubbish coffee, and I plan to be able to say I stopped off in Tahiti on my way home, my tan will be so fantastic! (I didn't - but my plane went everywhere else in the known universe, so it's barely a stretch. I slept a lot between my SURPRISE leg between Singapore and Melbourne (WHAT did I say about cavolo surprises?!), so it could have stopped anywhere, really. I might have been to the moon. I might have been to Christmas Island!!!)
3. Wearing a t-shirt. Burn in hell coat! BURN IN HELL! You were fine, you were beautiful, and you were Italian and I'm so glad (see first post) that the gypsies didn't get you. But after 3 months, you stank and you were heavy and cumbersome, and I am renouncing you too! Long live singlet tops! Until the weather turns.
4. Thongs! And I mean the kind you put on your feet!!! Especially now that my giant, swollen piedi, complete with weird sharpei ankles (I've been expecting to die of a blood clot since Friday!) have gone down, and my feet are normal again! As normal as feet get, anyway. Feet are kinda weird, aren't they?! But my point is, no more boots!!! I love thongs! And again, for those of you in the Northern Hemisphere, I am talking comfy rubber slip ons here. And I'm getting into more trouble the more I write, so I'll stop. Viva la thongs!!
Please don't turn, weather! I've been keeping tabs - you've been rubbish! But you're here now. Let's be friends!
Now I have to return to real life. This means lapsed bills, leaking roofs (stupid Australian summer) and work. Funnily enough, though, I am ready to return to work. A crazy idea did pop into my head that I could do ET work next week, but I quickly quashed it. I think it was the sleep deprived psychosis talking! In truth, I hope to enrol in a new Italian course in Melbourne. I've already sent out a couple of emails - in Italian! - but as I've received no reply, I'm wondering what I actually sent. I've said some pretty random, and often downright embarrassing things, whilst cultivating my understanding of this language! I was pretty sure my email was a straghtforward inquiry about classes, but I probably offered to murder somebody's goldfish. Or worse.
I've said much, much worse!
Now, time to go and drink a daiquiri by my parent's pool. In the sun. In a t-shirt.
Mi manca tu, Firenze, ma eri fa freddo!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment