Deliciously Funny ...

So, I have been doing A LOT – those few special people who have actually been following this blog would be amazed at my dedication to future success, over the past few days.
I have: Begun what will be a deliciously funny chick-shit-wit-tit novel, and written more on one story than I have since I was studying my Masters and ironically paying to write – which is not the way I want things to be at all, but it was supreme motivation. Especially considering the often acerbic criticism of peers during workshopping.

(To all of those who hated Future’s Fortune (including the title) I now say FUCK YOU. You will not be invited to the pool party at my mansion.)

I have: basically worked out the whole plot of said deliciously funny novel, and ascertained that it will indeed be deliciously funny. If I don’t say so myself – and it’s my blog, so I can. So there.

I have: gotten kinda caught up in my occasional bouts of doubt and self-loathing, and so let those nearest and dearest to me see the first few thousand words. So they can tell me how deliciously funny my novel will be. Or rather, already is.

I have: found an agent. Only in theory of course – I mean I have found the agent who does not yet know I exist, but will jump for joy when they read said novel, publish it immediately with an extraordinary (possibly history-making) advance and declare it to be more deliciously funny than Marion Keyes. Who they also once represented.

I have: written my own reviews (in my head) to talk up my novel and make sure everyone knows it’s deliciously funny. In case the New York Times says it’s shit.
I have: already spent (in my head) the 1.5 million dollars I will get for writing such a masterpiece. (I don’t want to say deliciously funny again, because I am a better writer than that, and have a much wider vocabulary that includes the word Masterpiece).

Only 183,000 words or so to go!