The Silly Season!

A rather inane post, but that’s the kind of mood I’m in – prone to ridiculous bouts of silliness. I think it’s the Christmas season. I’m assuming it’s this for a couple of reasons:

a)      I am obsessed by the idea of eating plum pudding, and just spent about an hour looking at ALL the food and nutrition statistics on ALL the different puddings, only to have my worst fears confirmed:  no, I cannot have plum pudding as I wait to win the Skinny Santa Challenge. I’m being such a hard arse that even though I went for an hour walk, uphill, followed by a forty minute bike ride, I am not allowed to have pudding. The end.

Merry Fucking Christmas to me!!!

b)      On my hour long walk, I sang Christmas carols the whole way. Loudly. And I didn’t care who heard me. And I daydreamed about meeting Santa and what I would ask for.

This is a picture of me and Santa. I know I’m sucking up, but I’m hoping that he’ll see this, and get me what I’ve always wanted.

Or I’ll break his legs off.

c)      Christmas is known as the silly season, and I am being very, very silly. For example, today I cleaned my entire desk. Totally wiped it down and everything. There is even a vase of flowers on there, because I felt in the mood for some extra ambience! (Note: I bought them, I did not steal them from the nun’s rose garden).

Why is this silly, you ask, and not a perfect example of cleanliness and hygiene? Well, if you know me at all you will realise that my brain is scrambled eggs on toast when it comes to normal things like filing and order and neatness. So, I’ve filed everything away today, tomorrow I won’t know where ANYTHING IS. And I knew this before I did it. Pure idiocy.

But it sure is pretty to have flowers at work. Even if you buy them yourself. Here is a picture of my flowers. 

It’s a splendid vase, too. The coloured bits flying off it are refractions of light because it’s made of crystal. Expensive crystal. I just happened to have it lying around. Smiley face.

Tonight I am going to win a Jellybean bike. That won’t be silly – that will be AWESOME! My current bike is like riding an exercise bike: you pedal and pedal and just never go any where. It weights about forty kilos, so I guess that’s why.I've had it for about four years now, which doesn't really make me silly - it makes me a moron.

(Note: I have never, ever put bike on the scales but it’s heavy. If you dropped it on the coyote’s head in a Warner Brother’s cartoon it would do the trick way better than an ACME anvil. No coming back from that one, coyote. You'd be dead for sure.)

I’d like to watch some Warner Brother’s Cartoons. In Italian. Now THAT’S silliness!