But wait, there's more ... more ennui!

Apologies, but you are getting two blog posts in two days - mostly because I need to vent my frustration and ennui (again!) and have no one to do it to until tonight when I meet up with my friends and we break loose on a bottle of tequila and a dance floor. Hopefully, I will lose my passport and my credit card, and end up roaming the streets of Firenze with the Roma gypsies - but not the scary one in the purple coat who gives me nightmares. She's terrifying.

Oh Mio Dio!I am SO SAD RIGHT NOW!! And pissing myself laughing because I just wrote 'Oh Mio Dio'. Who do I think I am?

Ok. Basta. That's enough seriousness for one blog entry! I'm British; I'm supposed to be far more reserved, so I apologise :-) As I'm far more comfortable with sarcasm and self-deprecation, I'm going to go back to that now. *clears throat*
Here's why I think I'm actually sad about leaving Florence:

1. I was supposed to have fallen in love. It's Italy, for cavoli's sake. (Yeah, I know - bad alternative. And for those of you who don't know, that word means cabbage. I'm now saying cabbages instead of swearing. I'm going to get my head kicked in, aren't I?)

2. I was supposed to know how to make Tirimasu. I'll probably still try - and kill everyone. You'd all better eat it, or I'll kill you anyway!

3. I was supposed to buy one of the fancy-shmancy wedding dresses from the shop across the way from my albergo. (Not albero, as I professed to be living in just the other day.)

4. I was supposed to be fluent. (I called my hotel an albero two days ago. Clearly, if I think I'm living in trees ...)

5. I didn't really think I would be fluent. In my imagination I am. So there!

6. I was supposed to become best friends with Pronomi. But we are mortal enemies, like the Montagues and the Capulets. But Not Romeo and Juliet, because I hate pronomi - so yes, it's a bad metaphor, and I apologise.

7. I was supposed to be on my honeymoon in Cinqueterra right now. (Actually, I never hoped for that. But I needed a seventh dot point and I didn't make it to Cinqueterra or my honeymoon, so it was a nice fit.)

8. I was supposed to have bought those kick-arse boots with fur trim. But I forgot where I saw them.

9. I was supposed to be pregnant.

10. I so was NOT supposed to be pregnant. Lol. Jesus Christ, I only just got married!!!!! :-)

11. Dotpoints 9-11 were jokes. In case you take things literally. :-)

Can I just come home to Australia now? If I can't be in Florence, I don't want to be anywhere else. Sorry England.

Amen.